Proposed Sequence of Hal Lindsey Apocalyptic BestsellersEd Wier
The Door Magazine
* The Late Great Planet Earth
* The Later, Greater Planet Earth
* The Latest, Greatest Planet of Them All
* Planet Earth: Overdue and Overdrawn
* Planet Earth's Last Stand
* Planet Earth: Still Kicking
* The Planet That Would Not Quit
* Fat Lady Mother Earth Is Singing
* Planet Earth on Life Support
* Pulling the Plug on Planet Earth
* Planet Earth: Remember When?
* The Never Ending Story of Planet Earth
* The Late Great Hal Lindsey
Some Good Ol' American Memory VersesJust the Way We Remember 'EmDen Hart
The Door Magazine
Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your Mastercard.
Another man, one of his disciples, said to Him, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." And Jesus told him, "OK. No problem - it's just as well that you do that right now - I mean, I wouldn't want to inconvenience anyone."
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Clothe yourselves, therefore, in successful business ventures, a good self-image, polyesters, and a deep tan.
If a brother sins against you, go and tell someone else, but don't approach the brother about it. If he sins against you again, go and tell another person. And if he sins yet again, mention it to someone else, then drop a hint the brother. Sooner or later, he'll get the message. If not, leave the church and find somewhere else to go.
"Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?" He answered, "Love the Lord your God with all your emotions, neglecting your mind, and love yourself first or you can't begin to love others."
When Jesus heard this, He said to them, "You still lack one thing - sell all you possess and give it to the poor... ha, ha, just kidding."
1 Corinthians 13.13
And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is tongues.
True Stories!Pirated from Ship of Fools
A young missionary stood in a packed Central African church for the first time. His French was not excellent. He had not distinguished between "arriere" (previous in time), from which the French derive "la vie en arriere" (one's life history), and "derriere" (behind in place), which also refers to your bottom. The young missionary's personal testimony of moving from darkness to light did not have the expected effect... instead, hundreds of African worshippers were squealing with laughter and falling into the aisles...
Lorsque je regarde derriere de moi, qu'est-ce que je peux voir? Je vois ma derriere – une derriere longue et grande. Je vois ma derriere separee en deux parties – l'une partie noire, et l'autre partie blanche. Et entre ces deux parties, qu'est-ce qu'il se trouve? Il se trouve entre les deux parties... une grande abime!
Quick translation into English...
When I look behind me, what can I see? I see my bottom... a great big, long bottom. I see my bottom divided into two halves – one black half and one white half. And what can one see between these two halves? A great abyss!